Welcome to Dallas, TX. It’s the summer already. It’s only June and I’m complaining about it being too hot when I have about three more months of increased heat on the way.
Do you know how bad your balls chafe in 110 degree heat?
My puss-filled ball blisters have puss-filled blisters themselves.
Today it is 96 degrees.
That’s officially 18 degrees hotter than it should ever be on the surface of our planet. The entire Earth should have the climate of Hawaii. And the women of Brazil… with strong accents. Actually it’s better if I can’t understand them. We should go back to the days of being able to club a woman and bring them back to your cave. Air-conditioned cave of course. Sex in heat like Texas is probably lethal. There’s nothing worse than having to be the one that rolls over into the wet spot.
Back to how Texas is like Hell. First of all, Dallas women are each just like satan. Satan with nice fake boobies and asses like a round hams. But they all breathe fire, I assure you.
How else is Dallas like hell? hmm…. Well our highways are kinda like the road to Hell but only if hell is just like Plano, which it probably is. The bars are only open till midnight and the most fun to be had is bowling.
I’m sure there would be an income tax in Hell, which is the only reason Texas is better than hell, but I bet the property tax is next to nothing. 1 for Hell. 1 for Texas.
Oh, I also have to work in Texas, probably just like Hell. But, here I am a graphic designer. In hell, I would pobably be Hitler’s personal salad tosser. But then again the last meal I had tasted like ass so maybe I’m already there.
Also, there should be some kinda rule that you have to have a pool break at work for 2 hours a day. Why does Spain get a siesta and we don’t. I could really use a nap. I’m sure this post is reflective of that.
So, if you want, move to Texas. The transistion to the afterlife will be much less painless.
Good Luck!
5 Comments
June 8, 2006 at 9:38 am
Now, now…some of us chicks who are forced to live in Dallas don’t have fake boobies and asses like hams, unfortunately.
June 8, 2006 at 4:09 pm
Now, now…you live in Irving. Which is why you already have an ass like a ham. Your boobs, however, I feel uncomfortable commenting about.
June 9, 2006 at 8:31 am
Her bottom is perfect. As are her boobs. Be nice!
June 9, 2006 at 10:08 am
I don’t like in Irving anymore, dude. Thank God you don’t know where I live now, you might try to come over and get a piece of this ham and eggs.
June 9, 2006 at 2:08 pm
I’m going to pretend you said, “Thank God you know where I live, now come over and get a piece of this ham and eggs.”